My life is overflowing with these kinds of thing – things that just never seem to work out as planned. Take for example my career. Oh that’s right…I don’t have one. From the time I was about 14 I’ve always thought it would be super cool to be a mortician. My current profession is somewhat less thrilling.
And then there’s the small matter of family. Oh, wait, I must be thinking of someone else. I don’t have a family…at least not one I’ve squirted from my own loins. Its a shame too, I had great names picked out. But I’m not bitter (well, maybe just a little bit…….okay, maybe a lot!).
But that’s okay – no kids just means I can sleep in on weekends, right? Oh wait, strike that…dogs tend to impede the excessive sleeping in…they still need to pee in the mornin’ as well.
And pursuant to my well established lineage of crappyness, our long holiday weekend seemed to fail me too. Thanksgiving day was not a thankful day in my house at all. We ate cold pheasant (I followed the heating directions on the package…I swear I did), and then I cried because we were alone…and Sam was enjoying it (the alone part…not so much the cold bird part).
In an effort to lift my spirits, my beloved husband drug me out to the woods to sit in the freezing cold wind for ages in the hopes of shooting Bambi. Not only did this NOT cheer me up, but we didn’t even see Bambi…the only thing moving in the woods this weekend were two stinking tiny little squirrels. Oh you can be sure there were guns goin’ off all around us…but we came home with nothin’ but cold feet and a buncha clothes covered in stink spray!
I don’t care what ya say, I think someone owes me a whole lotta mulligans. This weekend was less than I’d hoped for.