I didn’t realize how exhausting taking care of sick relatives was going to be. I am so tired. I just feel completely drained – mentally and physically. I have been at my parents house since Friday night as I needed to regain some sanity!
My Gram doesn’t know who I am at all. It is so disappointing and discouraging. When I first arrived on Wednesday morning with my dad, she had an idea of who I was; and as long as my dad was there she was able to know me by association. However, after my father left, she didn’t have clue who I was. She never used my name.
On Friday afternoon just before I left for the weekend, she and I were taking a walk, and she grabbed my hand and asked me if she was supposed to pay me, or if that had already been taken care of. I told her that I didn’t understand what she meant, and she preceded to say that she was sure “they’d” (meaning my dad and uncle) hired me to come in and take care of her. I told her that I was her granddaughter and I’d come down because I wanted to see her – not because I’d been paid to come. It has just broken my heart. This little woman is no longer the Gram that I know or remember. Unfortunately, I fear that we’ve only discovered the tip of this iceberg, and the longer she’s alive, the worse her memory is going to get. As with my mother-in-law, by the end Gram probably won’t know any of us.