I am free…..

I am free to run, I am free to dance, I am free to sing, to live for You, I am free…..I am free…..very soon, my blessed mother-in-law will be singing that song in Heaven, right next to the greatest father-in-law a girl could ever ask for.

Like so many people in this world, my MIL has terminal cancer. It started in her lungs, moved to her ribs, then her lymph nodes and now is rapidly spreading through her fragile body, taking over what’s left of her. She can’t breath properly, she is as weak as an infant, she is in constant pain, and has lost her appetite. On top of the cancer, she is quickly moving into the advanced stages of alzheimers disease. She has become a shell of her former self.

When I first met Donna she was a spunky red-head, who weighed about a minute, with sparkling hazel eyes, a big smile, and a sing-song laugh. She and my father-in-law were completely and hopelessly in love with each other; you could see it in their gaze. She was full of joy and life. I could just tell that her joy was deeper than just a love for life. Her enthusiasm for life and her love for Jesus captured my attention as well as my respect. In these few years I have had the priveledge of knowing her, I have grown to love her as much as my own mother, and will certainly miss her as if she were my own.

In these last few weeks, Donna as taken a turn for the worst, and my beloved husband and I are both convinced that we will not be celebrating another Mother’s Day with her. I know this is far more devastating for my beloved husband, who loves his mother beyond words, and has always strove to find approval in her eyes. In all his years, he and his mother have always had a strained relationship. They are so alike….which has contributed to their tension. Both so bold and independent, stubborn – almost to a fault, with strong opinions and yet completely dependent on earning eachothers approval.

Despite the heartache that is sure to come within the next few weeks, I know that my mother-in-law will soon be free of her earthly body. She won’t have to deal with pain any longer. No more morphine, or doctors or bad hospital food. She will once again be able to dance and sing and look into the eyes of the only man she’s truly loved. I know that he will be waiting for her with open arms. Ready and waiting to introduce her to their Jesus. They will walk hand in hand down the streets of gold, sit side-by-side and watch the sun set just beyond the crystal sea. They will spend eternity together, and they will both be free……

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