Honestly people, have ya ever heard of a shower?!

I work in a nice bank, in a small town, where everyone knows your business even before you do. There are two kinds of people here – those who are from the “County” and those who are “from away,” and let me tell ya, I’m proud to be one of the people who’s “from away!”

For the most part, I love my job. In the 3 years we’ve lived here, I’ve been able to meet just about everyone in town, and have become quite familiar with most everyone’s story. I appreciate almost everyone I meet and find I’m a real sucker for a good sob story, especially when there are real tears involved. My boss just laughs at me…..she’s a local.

But, in my line of work there are 2 days a month I hate more than any other…..the 1st and the 3rd, and darn it, they come around EVERY month! It’s really frustrating to walk into work at 7:45 and have the phone ringing off the hook with every old person and lazy bum who claims to be “disabled” calling to see if “there check is in.” Most of the time I grit my teeth, put on a smile, try to sound cheerful, and play the good customer service representative, but what I really want to say is, “look dumby, did your check come in last month? Has it ever been late? In the last 20 years, has it ever been for more than you expected?” The answer would be “no” to all questions. So, why even bother to call me? And good grief, the bank doesn’t even open until 9:00, so why are you calling at 7:45?! Some of us come in early to get work done, not sit around and answer the phone so you can stand outside the building at 8:45 shaking the doors….like that’s gonna make me come unlock them quicker.

And for crying outloud, now that you’re sure your check is there and you’re going to be making a trip out into public, TAKE A SHOWER, wash your hair, brush your teeth, and change your dirty clothes before you come in. And if that’s just too much to ask, use the drive up! That’s what its there for. I mean honestly, can you not smell yourself??????!!! I realize you are probably choosing to live in absolute squaller, but I don’t really want to get hepatitis from touching your withdrawal slip, and if you think you’re gonna use my ink pen, think again! We use more air freshener spray on the 1st and 3rd than all month long. I just hate it when someone comes in to cash their check and wants to open a new account….that means I’m going to have to sit in a small room with them, with the door closed for at least 20 minutes. I should get hazard pay….sometimes I feel like I need a shower after being subjected to that. ICK!!!

What’s wrong with these people? Maybe the gene pool here really is that shallow.

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